White Allies and the Cookout.
Ahem.
I present to you questions we need to ask before inviting white allies and celebrities to the metaphorical cookout.
Sazon Connery
Now, the metaphorical cookout is important – it’s the sphere of black culture. It’s our causes, our essence, our community … our SOUL (too much?).
Before you invite an ally to the metaphorical cookout, let’s ask these questions purely to make sure we don’t put our faith in someone to be an ally of the black community simply to be disappointed when they start mentioning All Lives Matter and asking why they can’t say the n-words in Gold Digger. Let this be a guide whether you considering to invite Lady Gaga or Alicia Silverstone or even Karen from Accounting into the metaphorical BBQ.
Would they have asked to come without being invited first?
Let’s meditate on this. Would a white celebrity be down for the cause even if they weren’t begged and pleaded for a response or didn’t see a violent, news-worthy reason to side with the blacks? If BLM wasn’t a whole entire movement, would your favorite white country singer pipe up and say “Maybe we should stop killing unarmed African-Americans in the street and speak more about police brutality?” Would they be down to understand our experience even if they didn’t feel like it was the “right” thing to do?
Will they steal Grandma’s mac and cheese recipe and say they discovered it?
I’m not going too far into the dynamics of cultural appropriation, but would they respect the cookout as ours and not just try to take it back to show white America how “down” they are? Or try to pretend they created elements of our culture? If you invite Karen from Accounting to the metaphorical cookout and she is suddenly only wearing dashikis and eating fufu at lunch the next day – you and you alone will have to answer to the ancestors.
Would they have made fun of the cookout behind our backs?
Yeah they can be down on Saturday but on Sunday would they be laughing with their friends about how your cousin got their hair braided on the steps? Would they call they call your house “urban” or “inner-city”? Would they call YOU that? Do they think our music and dances and food are funny (or “exotic” for my African/West Indian folks)? Sometimes, being accepted in a cultural setting can just be a joke to present to others.
Will they ask what’s in the food?
This isn’t much of a deep racial thing – so much as just a statement. What’s in the banana bread? Sis, bananas and bread. My grandma isn’t giving up the recipe to someone she doesn’t know and if you don’t like it, don’t eat it. I firmly believe this goes against color lines.
Will they leave early because your neighborhood doesn’t seem safe?
Are your white allies only secretly afraid of not being called racist? Even if they don’t really care for what it means to not be racist? Are they still high-key scared of any black man with muscles and cornrows? It’s not just “self preservation”, no one is actually scary unless there’s something about them you are afraid of. If your white ally doesn’t believe a smidgen of BLM, but doesn’t want to be attacked by Black Twitter – they aren’t a real ally when they fake support.
How will they respond to being called out?
Will they cower in fear or rise to defend themselves without silencing or overstepping black folk? Would they try to “improve” it?
It’s like those “fusion” food spots that boast about being 100% the real thing but are 100% gentrified. What is a Jamaican jerk joint without actual Jamician waitresses with gold teeth and nasty attitudes, gospel music, and a kitchen that’s always on fire? It’s the experience, good and bad. Yes we would like better service and for there to be food on Sunday afternoons. But we understand that everything is part of the experience of our culture. Don’t come into people’s cultural circles with suggestions. Even if Shirley rolled her eyes when you asked for gravy.
Lastly. When they aren’t the problem, will they step up anyway?
This month we had actual NAZIS fighting people. NAZIS BRO. Alas, there were a lot of white allies who dismissed the racist views of the Neo-Nazi white supremacists. One ally even lost her life defending equality for all and standing up to evil, bigotry, and hatred. There were people who called the supremacists what they were. There were people did denounce the lukewarm, bedwetting-ass statement our president made. Then there were the rest of y’all. Who sat and twiddled your thumbs and said “Well, hatred is wrong, but let’s understand each other” and “Let’s reason with each other”. If you see evil in this world, and can’t name it, condemn it, or even face it, because your comfort and privilege is too great – don’t crack open your jaw to talk about being an ally of anything.
Bye.
Sazon.
Sazon is our anonymous resident writer. She enjoys minding her own business and thinks you should too.
