Last Week Sucked for Black Men

      Last week sucked for black men.

      And sucked even more for black women.

by Leah Drayton (a black woman)

      Black women – whose backs are the bridges between womanhood and blackness – who must champion feminism and black liberation while being at the crossroads are the true victims of situations like these. When white women and black men make mistakes – it’s black women who must carry the brunt of that embarrassment. And boy, was last week embarrassing.

      Last week, three black men took Ls – Bill Cosby was finally found guilty, Kelis confessed to the trauma of her former husband Nas and his domestic abuse, and Kanye started shuffling again.

      Within each of these situations, black men must walk the thin line of race and justice – Nas and Cosby being “punished” for the abuse of women and Kanye being “punished” for his “radical” ideas on race and politics.

      And the response from their peers? Other black men?

      The same response that we got when R Kelly sexually manipulated young girls, and when Fabulous had been recorded threatening his wife, and when Chris Brown was being Chris Brown –

      We have to hear both sides.

      For every black man who needs to hear both sides of every instance of black men hurting or using women, you don’t want us to keep that same energy for when you are killed at the hands of a racist cop or on trial for something you didn’t do. Black women don’t wait to hear both sides before laying down their safety and their lives to protect black men. Don’t do the same to us.

      When black women put their feet down and say enough is enough – no more R Kelly preying on little girls, and rappers and football players being recorded knocking out their girlfriends, we are chided to hear both sides. We are told to stop keeping black men down. We are told to stay silent in the name of blackness, resulting in women’s brutalization and abuse.

For how long will blackness thrive on the back of black women’s bodies? For how long will black women have to give up their bodies, humanities, and lives in order to support black men?

Now on to Kanye.

      Kanye didn’t exactly assault black women (unlike his peers this week) – except assaulting our ears with that poopity-scoop nonsense (which, in all concern of his mental health, still slaps).  But his “L” matters in the conversation of “hearing both sides”.

      For everyone who still rides for Cayenne West – their argument is the same. What is wrong with black folks having different opinions? What is wrong with black folks being Republican?

      Chance the Rapper asked that question too. Don’t be like Chance.

*note from editor: Chance’s “Twitter novel” apology still doesn’t help his argument. We had to drag him first to get to that point.

      The bottom line of Kanye Kardashian’s issue is that fact that people (especially people of one community) can have different opinions but there is such thing as being right and wrong. “Wrong” isn’t an opinion. It’s not a personal idea. It’s not a political party. It’s not up for debate.

      Example:

      Assuming that black people  chose slavery is WRONG.

      Again, black men in the name of solidarity took to their keyboards in support of their fav and cut down the people (read: black women) who weren’t here for Kellyanne Kanye and his alternative facts.

      Supporting black men throughout their WRONGFULNESS is not support. It’s enabling. But we have seen time and time again how black men are enabled by their mothers, wives, friends,  and pastors, in order to step on the necks of black women in order to feel like MEN.

Supporting black men with love includes telling them when they are wrong and actually punishing them when they hurt other black folk. Black folk include black women. Supporting them includes educating ourselves on sexism, abuse, and mental health issues in the community. Support isn’t all forgiving and all encompassing, and we have shown that in the worst and wrongest of ways. We will cut off a gay child looking for family and love rather than a known sexual predator who is the root of generations of pain, in the name of “family”.

      Black men, desperate to climb above racism and the violence of white supremacy may think that this unconditional love and support are the only way to liberate the black race. But wrongfulness and sexism are the same tools that white supremacy uses in order to hurt everyone else.

      Black men need to rise above sexism and the culture of unconditional support. When you are wrong – you are wrong. There are no two sides and black women do not have to support you hurting them because you are black.

      My neck isn’t a step on your ladder to freedom.  

Another note: Kim Kardashian did say that she, as Kanye’s wife, knows there is nothing wrong with his mental health. I have nothing to say about that. Nor does it change my point.